Sunday, June 26, 2011

Being Away

Since I last wrote, I've been in a rather "low" cycle and am only now finding my way out.  I haven't been able to play with my cards at all.  When I have brought them out, they were not willing to cooperate.  So I left them be.  The good news is I am off work for a week and I will have time to recharge, to sort myself out.  Time for Qigong and some long walks are in order. 

definitely to be continued .....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


The card of the day: 10 of Cups.

As I look at the card, I instantly feel joy.  A rainbow and all the cups are in the rainbow.  A couple with their back to me and their hands palm out raised as if to say thanks for all the gifts.  Two children are skipping and they are part of the love this couple have found.  Cups are water ... feelings,  emotions, love in this card.  A lovely home with a plentiful stream and lush trees and earth.  Life is good.  

I keep wondering about their backs to me and they are standing not on the green earth but on the brown earth. The bottom of her dress is long at the back and a brown colour.   Perhaps they will not forget their past and where they came from as they go forward to their future.  All was not always so joyous and they've worked hard to be where they are now.

In my own life, I wish very much for my family to be happy.  When they are sad (as my son was yesterday) my heart hurts.  When my daughter goes through some tough emotions or frustrations, I just want to make it all better.  I want our lives to be this card.  Of course it isn't and the reality is it never will be,.  Life isn't perfect.  But I can wish and move forward with those thoughts.

It also triggers thoughts within me about just what happy is.  Quite interesting really.

to be continued ...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

6 of Pentacles

This card reminds me there must be a balance of give and take in our relationships in life.  There are always some power dynamic at work in life it seems and this card reminds me of that.  I might be the one doing the giving but then another time I am the one in need.   It also reminds me to not judge and to be giving without thought of anything in return.    I like to think the gentleman handing out the money to the two men in need is giving back from his succeses in life.  In the picture that is monetary but it could be in many other ways.

Today started out as a good day.  The sun was shining, birthday get together after work at my son's.  A bit of a headache but hoped it would pass.  Then my son cancelled the plans and the mood of the day changed.  I was worried about him as he clearly was having a bad day.  However, there was nothing I could do while at work.  Once home he phoned me and we talked for quite some time.  I felt the generosity of this card in me as I listened to him allowing him to feel comfortable confiding in me.  I was sharing with him my thoughts on his words.  It was a back and forth between us.

The card made me think a little bit deeper about how the three people were feeling,  What their situation was and what they were doing in life.  

to be continued ...

Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday Jun 13, 2011

My day was spent at work doing the usual activities.  No time for thoughts elsewhere.  I am covering for a co-worker who is on vacation while still doing my own job.  Keeps me busy and I like to be busy.  Once home, then I try to unwind and give myself some time for inner thoughts.

Card of the day ... 12 Hanged Man

The cards are still telling me to perhaps put the conscious world (in my head) on hold for a time.  And to realize it really is inside me that has to change, rather than a situation coming and changing me.  I had perhaps had thoughts along those line even though I knew better.  Seeing the Hanged Man made me understand.  I must be open to various ideas and ways other people think and do things.  I need learn to know and love myself.  The Self that is inside me.  The one I rarely let out.  Yes, he is tied up and upside down but he appears to be calm and making the best of his situation.  He is giving it some time.  The cards have been telling me to give it some time.  And I am.

to be continued ....

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Card of the day story

4 of Swords .. interesting.  This continues the theme of rest needed .. a getting away from things I am worried or thinking about. I am going to use an exercise with this card and perhaps all my card of the day drawings for awhile.  I am asking the card who, what, when, where, why and how.  My initial thoughts and intuition about the card.

Who - this is me needing the break discussed in the previous post. 
What - my life's journey
When - at a time when my day job versus my joy job are not finding a balance
Where - in my mind
Why - my sadness
How - by taking some time off of doing ALL the things I feel I need to do and give myself a break.  Do some meditation, some qigong and begin building a solid foundation for my future.  It has to begin by focusing my ever active mind and visualizing.  Put it to paper. Then begin the process of making it happen.

In my life, I have to work.  No choice as I have to pay the bills for myself and be there for my children (even though they are adults now).  I have to find a way to do both and begin a long term goal to have in place by the time I am able to retire.

I will listen to the cards and take two weeks off my "joy" job.  I will exercise, eat right, meditate on my plan, organize what needs to be done, draw a card a day as a way to keep in touch with myself.  I have a week off at the end of June and during these days will begin to implement my goals.

to be continued ...

Moving forward

Late last night after an emotional episode, I decided to pull some cards from the Pagan Tarot deck (Gina Pace) with the thought of what course of action to move forward and am I heading in the right direction.  So often I feel I am not taking any steps forward and get down on myself.

The three cards I drew:
1 - Sun (19)
2 - Strength (9)
3 - The Wheel (10)

Added together = 37=10=1 (back to the Wheel and forward to the Magician)

WOW is all I could say and as I looked at the cards lying in front of me, tears started to flow.  The raw emotion poured itself out.  I'd been told!!!!  Okay I get it.

The Sun tells me I need a break to recharge my tired soul after the last few months of constant stress and pressure at work and really it all started back in November.  I need to use my core Strength and dig deep, be patient and allow myself to heal, to smile and have some fun.  Use my joys ... nature, exercise, tarot, astrology, life coaching course ... whatever it takes.  Continue on the path I began.  The Wheel gives me the hope, the confidence I am on the right path but I will have to work hard.  And yes, I can do it alone.  Interestingly, on the Wheel card in the Pagan Tarot, the witch sits in front of her computer with an astro chart up on the screen.  My roots are with astrology and they got cut off when I turned to tarot but I realize I need to grow them again.  I already began this process by doing a mini analysis for my cousin's daughter's newborn son.  She loved it and wants me to do one for her older son.  So, okay, indeed I've been told.  I will work hard on my inner issues with self worth, confidence and move forward step by step, day by day.  What a wonderful three cards to get and so perfect.  

to be continued ....

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A card a day with stories real or otherwise

Stories real or otherwise by using one tarot card.  Today, I pulled the Queen of Pentacles.  Very much me.  She is really contemplating something as she look intently at her pentacle which she holds on to with both hands.  I am often deep in contemplation about life.  She is surrounded by nature and very comfortable doing so.  There is nothing I enjoy more than a walk or a bicycle ride along the bike/walking paths along the river.  It is calming, peaceful and perfect.  Yesterday I had to bike to work and on the way home stopped to take a few pictures, however, they do not convey just what it means to me.  I also saw a deer and quickly tried to get a picture but somehow lost the picture when transferring to my computer.  I posted a few to my facebook page minus the deer unfortunately.

They say Queens are feminine, Pentacles is feminine therefore maternal and nurturing.  I guess I am a version of some of that.  When it comes to my two children, now and when they were little, they came first and I would do anything for them.  They tell me I make the world a safer and nicer place for them.  My nurturing doesn't expand too far beyond my own little world but that is a whole other card.

It happens to be my son's 27th birthday today.  My precious little Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Taurus Asc.  Talk about deep deep feelings he keeps in a very deep place .  He is a work in process as he learns to deal with all of it.  We do relate rather well ... well I do have a Taurus Sun, Gemini Mercury and Scorpio Asc (his father is a Scorpio Sun, Gemini Asc) OMG.   Our connections run deep!!!

This Queen today reminds me of how serious I can be but at the same time how vibrant and youthful I still am.  And how nature soothes me and is my comfort place to go.  She reminds me of how grateful I am to have two children and a cat to nurture, to love and who nurture and love me.

I was trying to insert a picture of the Queen of Pentacles but it doesn't seem to work.  It is not like me to "give up" but will figure it out for next time.

To be continued ...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

A week in the life of Carol

Been awhile since I updated.  Mostly too busy with work and tax season.  No time for tarot or astro or the other joys in my life.  Energy drained.  But whatever. 

I thought things would slow down for me this past week but not so much.  Of course it not only was month end at work but also our year end May 31.  So, I found myself having to stay at work past my usual 4:30pm departure.  I had to tell Lindy to go without me leaving me without a ride home.  I could not leave until all the sales for the day were input ready to be posted in order they made it to the year end reports etc etc etc.  It was around 6:15pm when I finally got to that point and everything balanced.  And luckily one of my co-workers was still there and offered me a ride home.  It had been my intention to just head out and walk and if a bus came I'd get on.  But in t hat area, the buses only run every half hour so waiting for one was silly.  Anyway, I got the ride home and was grateful.  The next day I got an email from the CEO thanking me for my efforts and staying late .... this does not happen very often where one gets thanked so I was pleased and almost tempted to frame the email!!!!  

On Tuesday during lunch Lindy and I got our brows done.  We were a little late getting back but oh well ....  always nice to get the brows done.  Looks great for a week or so until it all starts growing in again.  Never ending.

Wednesday, I went to the dentist at 2pm to have three fillings replaced in my front top teeth.  I was rather nervous about the needles as I figured they would hurt in that area.  But the dentist was wonderful and put lots of freezing gel on before he gave me "four" needles.  And honestly, they did not hurt.  And the whole procedure which took a little over an hour did not hurt at all.  I could not feel my nose or lip and it wasn't until around 7:30pm that the freezing was completely out.  I walked home from the dentist (a 25 min walk) and stopped at the grocery store to get some "soft" stuff to eat for supper.  I knew my nose was starting to run but when I tried to wipe it, I couldn't feel it so wasn't sure if I got it or not.  So funny.  Glad I did it though as now these ones should last the rest of my life.  The ones he replaced were probably 25 years old.

Thursday morning before work, I went with Lindy to the car dealership so she could get an oil change.  Her appointment was at 8:15am and I decided just to be late for work with her (rather than ride my bike to work).  Only took 45 minutes anyway. We were at work by 9:30am.

Lindy was off work on Friday, so I did have to ride my bike to work.  Off I go on my bike at 7:30am and got about 10 minutes into my ride when I realized it just wasn't right.  I hopped off the bike and felt my tires and of course they were half empty.  Not a good thing but too late to turn back and take the bus.  So I continued on but oh my what a chore it was.  Luckily me being small didn't put much weight on the tires and I didn't break the rims or anything.  It just took me an hour to get to work (normally takes 25 minutes).  The bike just was not moving very fast and I ended up walking a lot of the times.  Once at work, I asked around and found that Jim had a tire pump in his car so he kindly filled up my tires.  The ride home was a breeze .....  what a difference.  Lesson learned ... check bicycle after sitting all winter before the morning you need to ride it to work!!!!!!  Silly silly me.

On Monday my internet stopped and so I had to do some problem solving to figure out why.  Was it my modem, my router, the cables being used.  I think on Wednesday after I got home from work, I managed to get my desktop working without the wireless involved.  I was pleased with that and decided to leave the rest of the problem solving for later.  My poor old desktop is so so slow though and frustrating but at least it worked.  Finally today, I unplugged this and unplugged that and tried this with that and finally came to the conclusion it was my wireless router that was broken.  It had been one from work so I got it second hand.  I tweeted to Lindy about it with the thought we could go get a new one during a lunch hour next week.  Next thing I knew the phone was ringing and it was her asking if I wanted to go to the store right now.  She was already out and in her car and could be over in 10 minutes.  Okay ... rush to get myself dressed and presentable to leave my apartment.  So now I have a brand new router and my laptop works again and so does my Ipod Touch and I still have my desktop hooked up.  Happy me.

The tarot workshop I was so looking forward to on Saturday ... was cancelled.  Darn anyway.  To be rescheduled.  Guess there wasn't enough interest or Saturday wasn't a good day.  Oh well.

So that is the life and times of Carol Nelson for the last week.  LOL.  Pretty exciting huh.

I did do a mini astro analysis for a new born a few weeks ago.  Kept it simple.  They liked it so much, they want me to do the same for their first born.  That is good news.  I am also taking a Life Coaching course with the thought to enhance my tarot practice and perhaps even on its own.  We shall see.

Life is good, the sun is shinning, the air is warm ... to be continued.

Friday, April 15, 2011

No time

Right now my life is work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat over and over.  From January to May is a blur.  I have to work really hard to find relaxing time for myself.  Time to do the things I enjoy ... like tarot and astrology.  Get home from work with the best of intentions but find myself too mentally drained to focus.  So, let it be.  Once tax season is over, I will be back with my thoughts and some new work.  There is a plan, there is a goal.  The new moon in Taurus on May 2 is a good time to start.  My birthday less than two weeks after that and on a Friday this year.  Oh yeah.  Friday the 13th.  Mercury being retro right now has been quite annoying and irritating.  Close to my North Node at 25 Aries in 5th (Mars rules both 5 and 6 using Koch system).  

Still using the Hezicos tarot (well when I get the opportunity) but the court cards keep coming up and I honestly have the hardest time with them.  Telling me over and over its time to get a real handle on them.  That will be my first priority.

To be continued in May.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


My mother-in-law passed on Sunday morning.  On to her next journey.  Her funeral is this morning.  It has hit me harder than I anticipated.  The last we spoke she invited me over to help me design the crochet tarot bags I've been wanting to make.  She had some great ideas and wanted to share them with me.  We won't get to do that.

I am glad for the 36 years I knew her.  A beautiful lady.  

Love you Mom "G"

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sad day

News of my mother in law's health failing is not really news since she's been sick off and on for years and always recovered.  The lady has some deep inner strength.  A beautiful Gemini lady.  But this past week, her daughter emailed me to say the latest set back would be fatal although there was no time line ... a few days, a week a month or more.  My daughter and I planned a visit this morning to see her (probably for the last time).  Once there however we were greeted by Marney, her daughter, Kris and her husband to find out this could be mom "G"'s last day.  Unexpectedly soon.  Very sad.  In so many ways it is sad.  I married and divorced the wayward son and truly, although mom and dad "G" have been generous with birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, they have not really considered my children to be family.  All the more evident when mom "G" is ill and we are asked not to visit.  The same happened today although luckily Lindy and I already left to go have breakfast and then on to the hospital.  Dad "G" upon receiving the news it might be her last day, called and left a message for us to not come "because of the situation".  We did not receive this message.  His message angers me.  Lindy is their granddaughter.  Me, no I am not family.  But Lindy and Jordan are.  I do love dad "G" but his words are cruel and cut to the heart.  Once we were there, I could tell mom "G" was happy to see both of us.  She took my hand, I told her how much I loved her and how she's helped me all these years.  She told me she loved me.  And then she held on to Lindy's hand for  the longest time.  SHE wanted us there.  I am so glad we went.

I pulled a card right now and got the Fool.  Isobel Grieve is on the brink of a new journey.  She's finished with this one and will begin a new one.  Appropriate card for sure.  At first glance, I didn't think so but with some thought, indeed, it is.  Isobel is/was very creative, very open and very willing to go places ...  This time she is going to jump off the cliff, she is ready to go and said as much.

Love  you mom "G".

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Follow to Page of Sword card in previous post

It is the little things I enjoy.  Last week and this week have been crazy busy for me at work.  To the point of overwhelming.  To the point of me wanting to leave for parts unknown.  Anyway, I pulled the Page of Swords in a spread the other day and made a note to myself to look for a message and since Swords is air perhaps look for words.  On Wednesday, there was a letter in my mailbox.  Well not really a letter.  It was from the property management folks with my rent increase.  It doesn't take affect until May but they always send the notice in January.  I didn't want to open it especially considering the mood I've been in.  So I left it for a bit.  Later on in the evening I opened it.  Much to my surprise my rent increase is only .70%  ... honestly.  Only a few dollars more.  It had to be an error.  But on second look that is what it said.  So indeed a wonderful message to receive.  A little thing perhaps but it will make my year just that much easier.  Thank you Page of Swords.

to be continued .....

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Simple reading

Its been a good day.  I managed to spend most of it with my tarot cards.  Joy for sure. My father's father is from Denmark so I have some Viking roots.  Got out my Viking Cards and read the book as I looked at each card.  32 cards.  The author is from Iceland and I found it very interesting.  Love the cards and will draw one each morning for advice.  Will see how they feel.

Later in the day, I got out the Mystic Dreamer deck and pulled three cards:

1 - Where I've been - The World (21)
As I look at the card, I realize I have all the knowledge I need, I'm aware I have the knowledge and I want to remember the knowledge.  It's in me, it's in the universe, I am the universe.  

2- Where I am - The Hierophant (05)
 The is my card when you do the numbers for my birthday.  I've struggled somewhat understanding what this card is really about especially in the traditional decks.  In this deck, it's a much more relaxed card, not so stern, not so much giving me the idea of conformity to whatever.  It reminds me that I know the solution, I need to relax and let it come forth.  Share with others, let someone share with me.  So where am I??? Well, I am struggling to find my way in the world I want to be in as well as struggling with myself to allow myself to do this.  Confidence in myself and my knowledge.

3. Page of Swords

I really like this card.  Its soothing to me as I look at it.  She is in a good place but definitely contemplating something.  Since its Swords there might be a message for me but I will need to look for it.   This message will help me.  

Add up the cards and you get "8" Strength.  I believe this is the same as my reading yesterday.  I need to use my inner strength to discipline myself to make my goals come true.  To believe in myself and live by what I believe to be true. 

Ramblings ...
to be continued .....

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Aloness Vs Lonely

I'm a loner.  No doubt about it.  Being in denial about it or not wanting it to be true doesn't change it.  I have three brothers and then there was me.  They had each other and were great companions.  Oh I joined them but I just didn't quite fit in.  Boys are boys.  We moved around a lot and they always had each other and then there was me.  I guess I got used to being alone.  I created my own world.  I am not and never will be an outgoing type of person.  I have to work at it or be forced into it, so to say the least, it wasn't easy for me making new friends every few years.  Fits my Scorpio rising sign opposite my Taurus Sun.  Its been one of my struggles in life.  I learned to surround myself with outgoing friends making it easier for me.  That worked.  Then I got married, had two kids, got divorced, raised my kids alone (why does this not surprise) and worked my butt off to support us.  No time to be alone or lonely.  Now the kids are gone and I am on my own.  What is the difference between being alone and being lonely.  Lots really.  Truth is I do get lonely from time to time but for the most part I enjoy being alone.  As I age, I find myself enjoying the solitude, being reclusive. 

I grabbed my Pagan Tarot (Gina Pace) and drew three cards with alone and lonely and myself in mind and here is what I got.

1. 9 The Hermit - OMG ... what else can I say

2. 8 Pentacles - a woman in an office setting working alone (quite like myself) and working seriously (quite like myself)

3. 9 Pentacles - a woman sitting outside enjoying a drink and the sunshine ... and again quite like myself.  I love sitting out on my balcony surrounded by a few plants, my cats just relaxing for a few moments.  The word "joy" is what is important here.  I always try to find some joy in each day. 

An 8 surrounded by 9's.  It does seem similar the Hermit and the 8 of Pents with the seriousness but I do see the hope in the 9's.  Yes, the Hermit is alone and wants to be alone but she/he is searching and being introspective but will give back without expecting anything in return.  With the 9 of Pents there is a few moments to reap the rewards for all the hard work.  The three numbers add up to 8 (Strength).  Indeed.

Great cards to get for my train of thoughts lately.  They seem to be all about the solitude part of me.  Perhaps its okay to be there right now.  Perhaps I just need to allow myself to be there.  I don't totally neglect my friendships and loved ones but it is true I'd rather be alone than plan an evening out.  Or I might plan the evening out only to not want to go when the time comes.  It is quite a big deal when I do venture out but that is a whole other blog and tarot reading. 

to be continued ....

Saturday, January 1, 2011


So it is Jan 1, 2011 ... all those ones must mean something right. Not sure I know the answer to that. Seems like 2010 really slipped by. Where did it go anyway. I sure didn't keep up this blog did I. Well not that I have any readers so no one would notice. It is really just for myself anyway.

I did a quick reading for myself using past, present and future cards. No thinking. What came to my mind I wrote down. A study aid for myself getting used to reading (quickly) for others in person. 'Tis my downfall. My mind tends to go blank. I know the stuff but it won't come out!! A goal for 2011.

Anyway, as I shuffled using the Spiral Tarot by Kay Steventon, I thought about this blog, my purpose and my goals.

Past - Princess of Pentacles - Time wasted. Stumbling blocks not overcome. In my day job, I excel, however, in my joy job (meaning the tarot), although well intentioned, this Princess reminds me of the importance of study and sticking with it. Being consistent.

Present - The Devil (15) -What am I afraid to see? What are my motives? What do I see when I look in the mirror? Deep down I know I can get past the fear. I know I need to do more to have what is inside me come out (verbally). It isn't hopeless as sometimes the voice tell me.

Future - The World - okay so that seems like a nice card to get. Am I going to start a new journey if I deal with the past and present issues. Will I be a more mature and evolved soul. Yes indeed. I already feel the new ideas and new ventures spilling forth. Hey, maybe even some new relationships. Its a good feeling and a feeling of wholeness. A good way to start a new year and a good goal to aspire to.

I have work to do for sure. And I am willing to do the work. I love doing the work. I just need to find the mental and physical energy to do it after a full day at my office job. This will be my challenge as I begin 2011. It really is important to me for so many reasons. Add up the numbers to the above and it comes to 36 which is 9 which is The Hermit. That fits me perfectly. There is so much knowledge within me that sometimes it hurts ... my problem is being able to verbalize it to others.

Much to do ... to be continued ... happy 2011♥