Sunday, September 30, 2012

A wonderful lazy weekend coming to an end.  Sad to see it go.  Would love more time.  But back to work in the morning.  

Yesterday I erroneously called The Fairy Tale deck by Lisa Hunt the Once Upon a Time deck.  Sorry, that is the name of the companion book.

Today, I was playing with it and did a three card spread wondering how I've been doing and what I still need to be looking for.

Seeing the cards, my first thought was how I need to expand my horizons to include an activity that will take me out of my comfort zone, something that will stimulate my soul/spirit.  Earlier in the day, during a meditation, this thought came to me in the middle of something totally not in that area.  I acknowledged it and went back to where I'd been.  But then when these cards came up, that is all I could see.  I will work on finding something.

As for the cards, they will be retired today.  Not because I don't like them.  There is just too much detail and I am a little lost with the meanings.  At some point, I would like to read the book to refresh my memories of the fairy tales and Lisa's interpretations.

Tomorrow another deck will see the light of day ...  

Saturday, September 29, 2012

A Saturday with some laziness and some productivity.  Perfect really.  I can't control the craziness that is work right now.  Well, actually I can control my reaction and so far am handling myself really well despite having two jobs to do at once.  With no end in sight.  What I can control is what I do outside of work.  I cherish this time.  Use it wisely I say to myself.  

So last week, I decided to start using some of the decks I bought but never used.  Today is the start of a few days of Once Upon a Time deck by Lisa Hunt.  I've had it since Jul 2009.  I love the artwork and I love the stories.  I do find the detail of the cards to be a little overwhelming and for me, at my advanced age of 63, too small.  I keep my magnifying glass handy :)

I did a three card spread for myself earlier today with a specific question in mind and absolutely got an answer.  I spent quite a bit of time looking at the three cards and writing down my thoughts.  I also read what Lisa had to say in her book.  The Rider-Waite card for each popped into the back of my mind giving me some help.

Moments ago I pulled a card just for today as a general guide.

Nine to me means I'm almost there, the new beginning is around the corner.  It might not be exactly what I had envisioned once upon a time but just as rewarding.  Perhaps a time to pat myself on the back a little.  I made it through another challenge to be a stronger, more evolved being.  It also reinforces my view it is always better to give without any thought of something in return.  

The card itself is very busy.  Perhaps a little too busy for me.  The old man is a part of that tree and his kindness and willingness to help steer the young boy along his path beyond the forest is selfless.  He gives with joy.

As I looked up and out my window, I saw a gorgeous peregrine falcon land on a tree branch in my little forest.  What a better way to end ....

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I pulled the same card, Preparation (from The Bright Idea Deck), again today.  That is three times in a row.  In a "normal" deck this is the Page of Pents card.

My thought when seeing it again today, after I laughed out loud, is work is just too busy with me doing double duty.  My brain doesn't have time to think about anything but work.  When work is over, the brain matter won't cooperate to concentrate on anything else.  

I did exercise as soon as I got home so feel good about that.  Anything else accomplished ... not so much.  Will just leave it until the weekend.  Sometimes you just have to do that.

to be continued later ....

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I pulled the same card as I did on Sunday so it is time to listen

I need a plan.  Well, I always have a plan but I need to re-work my plan and explore some alternatives.  Deal with what has been on my mind.  Or I will run right into that rock.

I need to begin daily exercise again.  Weights in the morning before work and cardio when I get home.  This used to be something I never missed. Somehow, and I can't even remember why or when, it has slipped.  Starting tomorrow morning, it will begin again.  I like myself so much more when I am exercising.  My body likes me more.  

Am grateful for Chris, who drove me to work; and to Jim, who drove me home from work.  My usual ride person is sick and when she called me this morning at 6:30am to let me know she would not be going to work, riding my bike didn't seem too appealing.  

Am grateful for Cindy, my co-worker, who is so willingly helping me with my workload since another co-worker quit and it fell to me to do her job in the interim (as well as my own). 

I am off preparing ....  

Sunday, September 23, 2012

A rather mixed up day with some smiles and some frowns. 

The smiles:

It is my baby brother's birthday today (he 52).  He is a good brother, father, husband and all round great guy.  Love him to pieces.

My son and his girlfriend unexpectedly dropped by with some kitty litter for me.  A lovely surprise. Not having a car it is a heavy item to carry.  He also brought me a knife to cut my various squash.  He does not think the ones I have are appropriate.  And indeed they are not.  His job while going to school is as a cook ...this is a sharp knife.  Not sure I can handle a sharp knife.  Mine are rather dull.  He gave me instructions on how to hold it.  Who knew there was the proper placement for your hand.  And then how to cut.  So sweet.

The frowns:

My daughter called me in a crisis.  We talked for over an hour and I think she was able to vent everything out and I certainly don't mind listening.  She sometimes says she doesn't want to bother me with her troubles so as not to worry me.  But I told her I'd rather she troubled me.  This is something she will deal with and be fine but for the moment she wasn't.

Went down to the laundry room to do, well, my laundry, only to find not one empty washer.  Frustrating.  Went down again a few hours later and had better luck.  However, when the washing was done and I went down to put in a dryer, the only dryers available were on the top and me being on the short side ... well, I can barely reach, let alone see into them.  Again frustrating.  Had to laugh.

Such is life.

I sat down to pull a card.  I pulled another for some clarification.  Then another. Finally decided this draw was for my daughter.  So I wrote out my thoughts and called her.

A few minutes ago pulled another for myself:

That is so me lately.  Trying to multi-task, thinking I have things under control ... but perhaps not so much.  Not only the multi-tasking but not preparing myself properly for what would be expected of me with certain decisions I made.  Leading me to reconsider. But maybe there is still time to do some prep work.  Or maybe not.  This is the question.

But right now I have to go get that laundry out of the dryer :))

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Riding my bike to work yesterday showed me clearly autumn is at our doorsteps. Indeed it was cold on the ride in the early morning and I didn't pay much attention as my focus was on getting to work.  But the ride home, and by this time it was sunny and warm, I was very aware of my surroundings.  Luckily my ride is almost all on the bike/walking path along the river filled with trees, birds, small animals and falling leaves.  Yes, falling leaves.  Some trees beginning to change their colour looking very pretty. I like the sound of walking or biking through those leaves. 

I want to start using some decks I bought for whatever reasons but never use.  For a few days it will be The Bright Idea Deck by Mark McElroy.  I wrote in the book I bought with it "Oct 16, 2007" so have had it quite awhile.  I might have used it twice.  It deserves some use.

Hmm ... interesting card to pull considering my life the last while. My first thought was I had just been to the dentist for a cleaning this past Tuesday.  My second and more serious thought was the dentist has green hair and there is a green tooth linking the inner to the outer.  Both my inner and outer worlds need examining and they need to be dealt with as the issue won't go away on its own. I actually did accomplish some of that recently although there is still some continuing backlash for me to contend with.  

A different perspective has me the one with my mouth wide open being closely examined.  Perhaps a little too close for comfort knowing my flaws might be seen.  That is scary and I might not want to do that.  Of course I have to.

In a "normal" tarot deck this is the Judgement card.  Perhaps the situation or the change within and outside of myself has already been made.  I just need to own it and adjust.  This is actually a truth.  Took me a long time to not deny, deny, deny over a certain situation/person.  The adjustment isn't as easy as I thought but a work in progress. 

to be continued .... 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A beautiful sunset but it only last a few minutes and I didn't get a picture.  Then it clouded over very quickly and rain fell.  A nice sound actually and a little unexpected since it had been raining for most of the day and then early evening it cleared up.  Just for the sunset perhaps.

Very busy at work doing double duty thanks to a co-worker who gave her two weeks' notice this past Friday. I had expected her to be off these two coming weeks but now she is never coming back.  No one knew. She left without leaving proper guidance to certain aspects of her job and although I am the one who trained her 14 years ago, it will take me a few days to figure some things out.  Who does that????  Everyone is shaking their heads.  In the meantime, while my boss begins the process of hiring a replacement, I will need to cover.  

Mentally and physically drained, I sat down here at my desk a little while ago to be quiet.  Picked up the Morgan-Greer deck.

I see her as being patient, calm, knowing who she is.  There is an inner peace about her that the lion picks up on.  No fear in either.  Perfect card.

I recently overcame a huge hurdle that was blocking me in so many ways. Perhaps there is still a little hurdle to overcome before I can say with certainty the letting go is done, I feel so much lighter, so much stronger and confident going forward.  There is too much to do to spend anymore time allowing this to hold me back.  I like this peaceful easy feeling (as the Eagles once sang).  

smiling ....

Sunday, September 16, 2012

What a week.  Getting back to work after two weeks off isn't as easy as one might think.  Takes a few days to adjust back to work mode and even more days to get through the piles on my desk.  Didn't find the time or perhaps the better word is "energy" for much in the evenings.  Did not open a tarot deck or write in my journal or on here.  Where did the week go anyway.  

I did receive some exciting news when my son phoned me mid week.  He wants to propose to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve.  A surprise to me but am happy about it.  They wouldn't get married right away and they don't want to spend  a lot of money getting married.  They'd prefer the dollars to go towards a house.  I agree.  But will find a way for them to have the best party ever!!

Awhile ago I talked about "letting go" and how something in particular was not leaving me easily.  I've been meditating on it and giving it my best effort.  Found out last night, quite by accident, the letting go is going to be much easier.  The person involved will no longer be involved in my daily life.  This is not a bad thing for either of us so am happy about how it all resolved.  The smile on my face today is huge.  What a relief.  Perhaps the peace and harmony I so faithfully meditated on will now be a reality.

Had an amazing meditation session today.  I ended up in the middle of the sun.  Oh yeah.  Such energy and warmth.  Did not want to leave.

After, I got out The Celtic Wisdom Tarot deck and pulled two cards.

I see Augury of Battle (Ace of Swords) as my breakthrough, a conquest of sorts to letting go and in The Perfector (The World) I see a calm and a balance, a beginning and an end.  Moving forward ...

I feel better than I have for a long time.  It is to be enjoyed.  I am grateful.  For these moments.

♥ Joy on the hammock. Love you Jordan and Bekki ♥

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Rather sad today since it is the last day of my vacation.  Where did the time go? Looking back I hardly remember all the things I did but I do know I thoroughly enjoyed every moment.  Don't want it to end.  However, it is back to reality tomorrow.  How hard is it going to be to wake up at 6am in the morning.  Better yet, how hard is it going to be getting to sleep tonight.  Oh well I will sleep great Monday night.

I honestly don't mind going to work.  I enjoy my job, it is pressured filled at times but I am good at it, people depend on me and I do miss some of my co-workers.  Would I like to be in a position to retire? Absolutely.  I love the freedom and the ability to spend my days surrounded by my real passions.  Even without working, I discovered there just wasn't enough hours in the day.  How can that be.

But for now the reality is I have to work to support myself and try to fit in all my other passions in a limited number of hours.    I can live with that.  Am used to it.

I am grateful to have a job, a home, my health, food on my table, two wonderful kids who seem to like me :).  My heart goes out to my cousin, her husband and their family trying to be strong while he battles cancer. My heart goes out to a former co-worker whose husband suddenly passed away this past week.

Indeed I am grateful for every minute I am given.  My goal is to do my best to make the most of those minutes.  Not always an easy goal but a worthy one.

... a definite work in progress

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

How wonderful it is to be on vacation.  Oh how I love the freedom.  Even so, there still isn't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do.  Choices have to be made and some things get set aside for another day.  Too many interests perhaps.  Need to concentrate on a select few and actually accomplish the present goal and then move on.  That is the plan.  

I have been moving forward (instead of backward) and happy to say that.  Oh yeah, the past is still there and of course always will be, however, I am learning, slowing but surely, how to let go.  Ways it can be easier for me.  I am also learning not to be so hard on myself.  I AM doing okay and going with the flow a little more.  Remember to remind myself of all the everyday joys surrounding me ... 

My son and his girlfriend arrived back from their Nova Scotia/Cape Breton Island vacation this past Monday.  They had the best time and are sad to be back to the reality of life.  Although I saw daily pictures ... isn't technology great these days ... and was able to see visuals of their adventures, I am excited for a personal visit to hear them talk about everything.  The whales and the dolphins, the flowers on their hikes, everything.

Been taking a break from the cards but have been missing them so spent some time with a deck a little earlier and had some fun.  Felt good in my hands, did a spread and the cards I got were great, very encouraging ... although I am not going to share today.

Yesterday it rained.  Hasn't rained all summer.  I had an appointment at 1:00pm.  Had to go.   The walk would be about 25 minutes to get there.  About 12:15pm it started to pour and I mean pour.  We haven't seen rain like that, well, all summer.  So I put on my rain gear and headed out.  The longest walk ever and as a walker, I have some choice words for you drivers. Especially the ones who like to drive too close to the curb where the water accumulates.  Especially when it is raining that hard and the water doesn't drain quickly.  Can't count how many times that water ended up all over me.  Even though I was in my rain gear, my face wasn't. Once I finally got home, it cleared up and the sun came out.   I had to laugh.  

 I am going to end with a gorgeous picture my son took.  Perfect to stare at and just get lost.  That is the Atlantic Ocean.

moving forward ....