Sunday, August 19, 2012

What can I say.  A horrible weekend.  Emotionally.  Fail.  Just when you think things are going along okay, even better than okay, something comes along to show you otherwise.  Its like I got to the edge and saw a glimpse of the dream only I wasn't able to get over.  Not for a lack of trying.  On one particular thing I gave my heart and soul and still wasn't able to get over to the other side.  Almost, so close ...

Cry, cry.  So earlier today, I sat down to meditate.  That always helps.  And indeed it did.  Some options opened up in my thoughts.  Won't go into details (they are all written in my journal) but came back with a better perspective, a better mood.  This is such hard work but that is nothing new to me.  Always willing to put in the effort despite the occasional meltdown.  

Wanted to pull a card so got out The Whispering Tarot by Elizabeth Hazel.  I like this deck.  It is small which is great for my little hands but not so much for my old eyes. 

When I saw the 4 of Cups, I had to smile.  Right to the point Whispering Tarot!  Except for the blonde hair, that is me looking sad and contemplative.  Sad for the dreams that haven't or won't come to be.  But forgetting about what I do have and grateful for.  I especially love the Moon showing up on the card, since she was in my meditation.   I will allow myself to wallow there for a bit but momentarily I will turn around, see the cups and the gateway to the stars.  Make some new dreams.  And continue on.   As I always do.  At least I tried.

to be continued ...

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