I have been obsessed lately with finding a new place to live. Taken over my thoughts. No doubt using this as an escape from all the sadness and challenges of late with people passing and work being overwhelming. Fantasizing about a wonderful new place to live felt good.
I actually went to look at a place after work tonight. The ad, which had pictures, looked great. Really looked like it had character and the price and location are perfect. I was excited. Once there, what a let down. It was horrible, small, not an ounce of character and not worth the rent being asked.
But it was exactly what I needed. When I got home I sat down to unwind. Felt like I needed a lighter deck to work with so dug out the Vanessa Tarot by Lynyrd Narciso.
At first glance I felt a little discouraged by these cards but looking further at them, they are perfect. The Moon for me is always a good card. It fits here with my moodiness, hiding my fears and creating a fantasy. The Eight of Cups shows how drained and discouraged I am.
But they are also telling me to stop looking outside myself for the answers. Give myself some nurturing, some much neglected nurturing. I need to appreciate what I have rather than what I don't have.
Once I saw the apartment, I knew it was over. Something clicked inside and these cards confirmed this feeling. I won't solve anything by moving. That is not the answer.
Yes, I am to continue finding my new destination but continue to do so by looking within. And perhaps I can redecorate my current apartment or change something or just go buy something for myself.
Yeah .. that sounds perfect ...
I am grateful to the universe ... I love the universe ...