More Cups

Happy Canada Day holiday weekend!!  Lucky me, I've been off work since last Thursday and will be all of next week.  Some much needed time off.  Thursday and Friday were dull, dreary, rainy days perfect for inside chores.  Today the Sun is trying to shine but the clouds are putting up a good fight.  At least it is a tiny bit cooler.

Have a list of priorities for this time off.  Top of the list is to get myself organized here in my little office space.  Who knew this would be such a big job.  Not me.   I have a day outing planned for mid week and hopefully the weather cooperates since it involves walking and walking and more walking.

I love not waking up to an alarm, not rushing to get myself ready for "work".  How nice having my own agenda, doing what I enjoy but rarely have time for.  Did I say I love not going to work.  Oh yeah, I did.  There is time for exercise, for planning meals, playing with my cards and whatever I feel like.  Went over to the library and got myself four books to read.  Excited about that since it has been forever since I actually sat down and read a book for fun.  (aside from a tarot or astrology book).

Cards pulled a bit earlier from The Nigel Jackson Tarot:

These cups are really trying to tell me something.  The last draw with the Page of Cups and the Ace of Cups gave me the impression I needed to deal with my inner self.  And also I wondered if I was to pursue the getting to know a certain someone I'd met on-line.  I did receive another "message" from this person.  However, I haven't written back ... yet. Should I or shouldn't I?  That is the question.  Why or why not is another. 

So now here is the King of Cups and the Ten of Cups.  Okay ... the King is grounded to be sure, however, he isn't looking at me and I get the feeling he doesn't want to be in the reading.  Or perhaps he just isn't concerned about anything and is quite content.  Interestingly, at eye level here at my desk, there is a picture of a happy me with the words under it "happy, healthy and content".  Always in the present when said.  I say them often and always before a meditation and before shuffling my cards.   The Ten, especially to me, is saying to be in the moment.  Feel the moment.  Don't get overwhelmed with everything.

So then I thought I'd draw another card for clarification:

Hmm ...  Life is what it is ... up and downs.  It is all about how we deal with the ups and downs.  Outwardly, strength is what others see, inwardly not so much these days.  Bit of a struggle.

All these cups.  The Universe wants me to deal with my emotional stuff.  Lately, forcing me too. In my astrology natal chart the only water I have is my Scorpio Ascendant and it is definitely challenged.  

Thoughts anyone????

Happy Sunday

A very productive Sunday, however, I am running out of time as the day is coming to a close.  It is very hot and humid and I have no air-conditioning in my apartment.  My two fans help but barely.  This is the type of weather when thunderstorms roll in sometimes in the early evening.  Some can be pretty scary.  But usually only last for a short time.  Last night it didn't clear up in time to see the moon rise.  Hopefully tonight it will.  Quite a sight to see.

Began the day having breakfast with my daughter and then helping her finish getting the last odds and ends out of her old apartment.  She gives the keys back this coming Friday and finally can leave this part of her life behind her.  Yay for that.  Once I got home I found myself cleaning my own apartment, exercised ... sat down to meditate and the phone rang.  Darn.  Wasn't going to answer it but it was my son and we haven't talked for a week or so.  Ended up being a 2 hour talk ... guess we had lots to catch up on.  So much for a meditation session.  

I did draw two cards from The Nigel Jackson Tarot with nothing specific in mind.  Maybe something I need to know or think about.

A flood of inner me?  This Page of Cups looks to be kind and gentle.  Could he be telling me to be emotional but find more of a balance with my intellect/knowledge.   Okay, so, these cards might be trying to tell me something about a certain someone I just met.  Well haven't met in person yet but talked to two or three times by way of email. We have important things (to me) in common, however, I need to know more.  Is the Ace of Cups telling me to be open to whatever this might be?   The Page often brings a message.  Well yeah there was a message from this certain someone sent yesterday but I did not see until today.  Do I pursue it further.  What are my reasons for doing so, or not doing so.  What are my emotions about the whole thing ... fear, taking a risk, adventures. Perhaps that is another draw. Hmmmm ....

My thoughts are with all those living in Alberta affected by the flooding rivers.  

Planning

Can't have wishes come true without some planning and some work.  They just don't happen by themselves.  Today is planning day.  Well, planning evening.  My days are busy with the work that pays the bills.  I am excited about it.  It might take me a few evenings to sort it all out. It will be beneficial to my growth to have some sort of schedule to use as a guideline.  Time is not on my side meaning I don't have a lot free.  Some real thought has to go into this.

Pulled out The Nigel Jackson Tarot.  I have never used it, always meant to.  Will use it for awhile and see how it feels.

Today's card:

I've never really used a deck with Wands as Air and Swords (Staves as in this deck) as Fire.  But I will go with the flow.  Looking at the card I feel like the storm I've been in will soon be behind me.  I am off for new adventures, new opportunities.  There is reward for effort.  I will reach those smooth waters.

Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets with planning - Thomas Alva Edison

Father's Day

It is Father's Day here in Canada/US.  Am thinking of my father and what a source of strength he was for me.  It was also very interesting, when talking with one of my brothers, at my son's wedding a few weeks ago, how very different he sees our dad.  I did not know this before and although I totally understand we all have different perspectives, it sort of came as a surprise as it differs quite a bit from my perspective.  I am also six years older so that makes a big difference as well.  My dad loved to sing, his brother played guitar and together they made magic.  Luckily they had the foresight to tape some evenings of songs and one of my brothers put it all on CD.  Listened to that today and could feel my heart fill.  I can't be with him physically anymore but he is with me forever.

My dad's grandfather came here from Denmark.  Looking for a tarot deck to use this week, my eyes stopped on The Viking Cards by Gudrun G Bergmann.  The book uses Iceland as the root source but I consider my Denmark roots as being Viking.  Have never used these cards as it has always been my intention to read through the book and gain a better understanding of the cards.  Haven't done that yet.  It seems appropriate to use today in memory of my dad, his dad and his dad and so on.

I have been making some progress working with my "list" of things I would enjoy and incorporate back into my everyday life.  I did sew this week, well, if mending counts.  It was to help out two people and I happily did so.  I exercised three days out of the seven which is better than none and hopefully will improve.  

Work turned out to be unexpectedly busy and my car gave me some unexpected problems.  I handled both with grace.  The car things maybe not so much at first since it turned out to be costly lol but I tried.

So it was an up and down week with progress made.

Cards drawn today with the thought in mind of the progress made and progress still to come:

The Helmet  - Victory - Vikings always wore helmets to protect themselves in battle.  The book says "defeat is almost certain if you aren't prepared.  You need to use strategy and make plans".  Indeed.  I do much better in life if I have a plan and some sort of structure.  This I know about myself.  I fall off the path otherwise.

WEST - The Bull - Abundance - Seeing this card, I immediately thought of myself as a sun Taurus.  Card 14 in tarot is Temperance which is my teacher card.  It breaks down to 5 which is my soul and personality card.  It is also May, my birth month.  Anyway, the book says "appreciate what I have i.e. home, family, friends, job".  Don't lock myself away in a world of lack by saying "I need" instead of saying "I have".  Exactly.

These cards reinforce to me I am on the right path.  To continue on doing the best I can.

I am extremely grateful for all I do have and it is important to remember.  Easy to forget sometimes and get caught up in the "I need".  Thank you Universe for the reminder, the reassurance and guidance.

At first today it was raining, gloomy ... the type of day to pull the sheets over your head and hide.  But I got myself up and proceeded to get busy.  As I look out, the sun is shinning, the birds are singing and its a perfect time to sit outside for a bit to soak in some nature.

On this fine day, here I am au naturale, lines and all ...

Been a good day so far.  Woke up to a blue sky and some warmth.  The birds are singing, the cats watching.  I exercised earlier (something from my "list").  Oh my gosh, it felt great and instantly knew I'd missed it. Now to repeat tomorrow.

Time for a new deck to play with for a few days so went looking.  Truth is I haven't bought a new deck or book for what seems like an eternity. Not for lack of desire!  However, I do have at least 40, many I've never used, some I never will.  Bought them for a reason even if once home and in my hands didn't seem like a good fit.  Going to go digging for something, see what speaks out to me.

After meditating (yes, another thing from my "list") and with the intention to find the above mentioned deck, my eyes stopped on Nature Spirits Oracle Cards by Elizabeth J. Foley.  So will use for today.

Drew three cards:

Hmm ... interesting.  These cards are on the small size which is great for me while shuffling.  Seeing all the detail is a different matter.  Had to get out my magnifying glass to have a really good look.  Quite like them.

The Moonbeam Energy card speaks to me about my mediation session plus there was just a new moon (conjunct my 8th house) sending me tons of energy which by the way I felt in the meditation.  While mediating I concentrated on working on my issues and here we have Fear/Anxieties/Doubts with the intention of regaining my personal power ... and here we have Personal Power card.  I am speechless.

Sunshine ... Yay!!  Exercised ... Yay!!  Meditated ... Yay!! Played with my cards ... Yay!!

Gotta love the Universe ....

After days of clouds, rain and dreary weather, I look up to see patches of blue.  Now that brings a smile to my face.  Undoubtedly, it will be short-lived per the forecast so I will spend a few minutes gazing.

The "list" never got made.  Instead it has turned into a list of "things" I truly enjoy but not currently doing to help put a smile on my face and find my joy. Oh yeah, little or no dollars can be involved.  I sat down with a piece of paper and pencil and without any thought started writing.  Here it is:

sew/crochet/knit (tarot bags especially) I have a box full of material.
read (I live 5 minutes from the library)
yoga/pilates
make an exercise plan and stick to it (I actually already have one, just need to do it)
play with my cards more
organize my astrology stuff so I can be current
explore used (book) stores this summer
ride my bike to work at least twice a week, weather permitting
meditate daily
food (incorporating more gluten free and vegan recipes into my diet)

Pencil down, read over and yeah, they all seem doable.  Have to ask myself why things get set aside just because I am extremely busy at work between Jan and end of May. For sure at the end of the work day, I am tired.  No excuses.  Have to be consistent.  And determined. And if on those brutal work days in the winter once home all I have to give is half and hour, then that is better than nothing.  It will feed me.

Found a simple spread to do:

1. The situation now
2. How the situation evolves
3. Someone, something that effects the situation
4. The outcome.

Cards using sun and moon tarot by vanessa decort (sorry they are hard to see):

I jotted down my first thoughts:

1. The Devil - I am caught in the web, or at least I think I am.  I am in a hole with no way out.  This card is telling me I must confront myself and whatever I think is going on and it shall set me free ... well, at least begin to.

2. 9 of Wands -  Putting my joy back out there.  Letting my oh so positive Sag Moon reign once more.  It it what gets me through my challenges.  My Taurus gives me the strength but my Sag keeps me seeing the hope, the light at the end of the tunnel.  Lately, I let it slide away.  

3. 5 Pents - I affect it all.  Only me.  Feeling sorry for myself, being fearful, being anxious, letting how others are feeling affect me, and on and on.  Seeing the negative instead of the positive.  It is up to me to bring myself back.  Important to stop worrying about the future as there really is only now.  Be present now.  Enjoy now.  Reach out if need be, help is there.

4. Prince of Wands - Yeah, for sure I can do it.  Regain my focus and inspire my creativity.  Renewed growth.  That is what it is all about.  The never ending journey of growth.  This is what I love more than anything.

Very interesting cards.  They speak to me quite loudly.  

I shuffled the deck again and asked for some clarification on the outcome.

Now, that absolutely brought a smile to my face.  Nothing else need be said.  haha

to smiles and joy and blue skies ....

The List

Work is still very busy for me taking most of my energy.  I had such a good day yesterday and hoped to carry it forward to today and beyond.  In a way I did and had a good day at work, however, the list, while two, maybe three things are in my head, they did not get written down.  There was no time to meditate or exercise.  Only a few more days, only a few more days.

As the sun sets and I begin to unwind from the day, I sit looking out at the sky shuffling the cards.  Feels good.  A welcome friend.

A moment ago drew, again from the sun and moon tarot by vanessa decort:

Hmm ... quite appropriately really.  The LWB says this is Saturn in Taurus.  Indeed.  I am determined and patient but things don't always turn out quite the way you plan.  It might start one way and end up something totally different.  I have to be okay with that.

"failure" at the top brings to mind my own fear of failure and perhaps the limiting of myself.  Do I do that?  This card is telling me perhaps some evaluation is in order to begin the process of my list.  Take a step back, look at the bigger picture and don't get too caught up in the little things.  It might be time to not be so determined.  Round and round and round.

Tomorrow will be a good day ....

The journey continues

Brutal tax season at work is over, work year end almost over, daughter is moved and on the mend from heartbreak, son is married and on honeymoon, weather is warmer .... is it time to find me again.  The cards (sun and moon tarot by vanessa decott) say yes quite loudly.

Let the process begin with a wish list. Attainable wishes of course.  And per the Prince of Pents and my Taurus Sun, I will do it in an orderly fashion while not forgetting to jump for joy.  Release the fear, the hurt and the negative thinking into the universe (not just mine but what I carry for others), remembering all the wonderful little things in my life that all add up to a great big ball of joy.

First, I need to make said list.  Top of the list will be to do something brand new.  Challenging myself.

Here I come again universe .... did ya miss me :)