Just some words

I am a child again waiting for a future time that seems to take forever to arrive. The problem being I want to be in the now rather than waiting.  Seems easy on the surface but as I have discovered not so easy.

I've worked at the same job for almost 27 years and am grateful for those years. It saved me at a time when I found myself with two young children to take care of on my own. It fed us, kept a roof over our head and gave us a good life.  I enjoyed the work, thrived on the pressures and even the stresses a busy January to May tax season can bring. But the time has come to call it a day.  Time to move on to what I am really passionate about.  Time to have the time and the mental energy to actually spend on these activities.

Getting through this last tax season has been harder than I anticipated.  Two voices ... one keeps me going one day at a time, the other allows me to dream about life post work.

44 more working days.  It often feels like it will never arrive.

The last few years have been extremely challenging personally for me. Many changes, decisions, letting go, personal growth, moments of wondering what it is all about.  The growth, the questions, the curiosity will never end and that is what I love.

My wonderful friend, SM, surprised me once again with the arrival of another of her paintings.  This one, when I first looked at it, saw only the beautiful bubble of yellow.  It captures and engulfs me. The turmoil and challenges ... being the darkness ... will always be a part of me but the yellow will win.  My eye on the yellow as I learn, grow and evolve.

I am so grateful for people like SM in my life who brighten my spirit.

Grateful for my beautiful daughter who loves me for who I am with no expectations. Very rare.

Grateful for my son who opened my eyes to a whole new world. Travelling with him to our jobs in the city this past year and a half  (an hour there, an hour home) has been amazing.  I will miss this special time together.

Grateful for the community here on-line and am looking forward to having the time to catch up with everyone. Their blogs, activities and interacting again.

44 more working days!!! I can do it.  Yes I can.