Sunday, June 29, 2014

Holy Crap!!

Busy time at work is over, summer is here, so where is Carol?  Why the difficulty in getting started again.    It is no secret, apart from work being way too busy, there has been some family health issues and also I suffered a best friend loss.  (not such a best friend as it turns out).  The combination brought me down big time leaving me with a long way back up.  But the determination of my Taurus Sun and the optimism of my Sag Moon somehow keeps me trying.  My Gemini Mercury has me all over the place lately and unable to concentrate for very long.  Good excuse right.  NOT.

Anyway, July is almost here.  I have lots of vacation time over the next three months and this is going to be my time to figure out exactly what it is I want now that life has changed. No, it is me that has changed.  Changing.  Moving forward with a new me.  Maybe not so visible on the outside but certainly within.

I am keeping to my word of using decks that have been stuck away.  Today got out Vision Quest Tarot by Gayan Silvie Winter and Jo Dose.

Based on what I said above, I decided to do a three card spread.  The first card is the essence of my question; the second card is what hinders me; and the third card is what helps me. 

Here are my cards:

I started to cry when I saw these cards.  All that emotion staring back at me and oh so true.  But yet so very helpful.  Especially the words written in the LWB about Five of Water "The veils of ignorance are being lifted.  An illusion you have created and clung to now slowly dissolves, as it must.  Be brave, this is the beginning of an internal liberation." The lost friendship was/is an illusion and I did cling to it thinking it was what it wasn't/isn't.  Dissolve away. 

I love the Balance card.  So gorgeous.  Earlier today I found a wonderful hour long guided meditation on YouTube and the plan is to work with that tonight.  Exactly what I need.

I love these cards.


  1. Hi Carol. I am so glad you've found some relieve now. Having no time to connect with your feelings can make them bounce back so much harder after all the work is done. And when you finally look sadness in the face it can be a comforting friend.
    I hope the rest of the summer will be sunny and bright for you my friend

    1. Thank you, Ellen, for the kind words. You always bring a smile :)

  2. That is a lovely reading, and I hope you can find the healing reflected in the balance card. I also lost a best friend a few months ago, although in my case, I had known for a couple of years that the friendship was not all it seemed and rather one-sided. I just didn't want to confront the situation so I hung in there feeling a bit miserable. It is liberating, though, to let go of the illusion.

    1. But you worked through the illusion right Siddaleah? I confronted the illusion but letting go has been difficult. Easier said than done. Pretty sure it is behind me now. Thanks for sharing your story with me.