On-going hiatus

Honestly thought the August hiatus would be more than enough.  However, it seems this isn't the case.  The journey is not so magical right now.  (my fear being it might never again be but at the same time knowing it will, it has to be).  My strength has always been the ability to find joy in the simple things in day to day life despite any of the challenges facing me.  It got me through but is letting me down now.  It has deserted me and getting it back has eluded me so far.  Friends I once counted on and trusted, turns out not so much. Pretty much an illusion. One step forward, a hundred back.  Think I'm there only to find I am not.

Who I was is no longer. Moving forward I must re-invent myself working with what is now and the on-going process of finding who that is.  Where do I fit.  Who fits with me.  How to proceed with this journey.  So much harder than I ever imagined.  Truth is I never imagined myself here.

Tarot and astrology, interacting with all of my friends here on-line, means the world to me.  The knowledge and wisdom of everyone so willing to share is priceless.  Letting go of all that is not an option even though my participation is non-existent of late.  My words, my intuition will flow once again.  My excitement to read and comment on my favorite blogs will return.  Just simply has to.

Earlier this morning, using the Mystic Dreamer deck (Barbara Moore/Heidi Darris), this is the card I pulled:

 all right then ... be back soon xxxooo

Clean Slate

The first time since July 29th to feel tarot cards in my hands. Wasn't easy not playing with them and it wasn't easy to play again.  It is time.  Using The Mystic Dreamer tarot deck by Heidi Darras/Barbara Moore and the spread (in order of cards) 2.what I have; 1.me; 3.what I need ... this is what I got:

These cards scream "clean slate" to me.   August was spent facing my painful truths, external and internal and emotionally releasing them.  I purposely did this knowing the consequences, good or bad.

August also saw many things resolved by my own initiative.  It also saw me doing new things by my own initiative.  Perhaps at times a few steps back but always finding the strength to move forward again.  Like the Ace of Swords, sparks of my truth were so very clear, other perspectives listened to and digested.  Quite amazing really.

Going forward, there is no doubt I am not who I used to be and there is still some doubt about who I am now, what path to follow; however, the foundation I built over these years is still there. I need to remain in control all the while being open to what shows itself to me.  

and I am ...