Remaining Positive

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving day with my family yesterday.  I am the reigning Scrabble champ. Try and beat me I say!!  Oh my gosh, the food was better than good.  My son does it all so effortlessly and doesn't want help.  I wouldn't even know where to begin to prepare food in the way he does and especially ending the meal with Creme Brulee for four.  He is amazing and I am so proud of him.

Today wasn't the best day as all the rich, lovely food I rarely eat yesterday triggered a migraine (it was worth it) so I decided to leave work two hours early. A bit of extra time for me to exercise, meditate and relax.  

Despite the little "devil" on my right shoulder telling me it would be okay not to exercise or meditate, I decided to listen to the "angel" on my left shoulder.  I did exercise and I did get a short meditation in and feel much better for doing both.  My goal these days is maintaining my "joy" and remaining positive when I just don't feel I can.  

Feeling I needed a light deck to play with, I dug out the Vanessa Tarot by Lynyrd Narciso. The card I drew: 

Hmm, not so light.  Ten of Swords is not always the most positive card.  However, it really does reflect my goals, my life at this point.  She comes across to me as a strong woman, ready for what faces her.  No matter the circumstance, my attitude, my reaction and my happiness is up to me.  She isn't down and out and for me the red cape indicates this.  The blue perhaps indicates an emotional adjustment.  All these things are true for me.  10's can be the end of something on the way to a new beginning.  A transition maybe because it takes time and hard work.

I am proud of myself for exercising when I did not want to, wasn't going to.
I am proud of myself for meditating if only for a short while.

Jumping for joy and happy to be home ...

Digging deep

Another blue sky warm fall day.  Can't complain about that.  Still lots of leaves on the trees, some a yellow, many are still green.  At least from the viewpoint of my window.  Further north, I am sure the colours are gorgeous.  It gets colder up there.

It has been a difficult to concentrate or focus day although I did manage to get many things off my to-do list.  My meditation was all over the place though and not terribly useful.  Or at least didn't seem so at the time.

Right after, using the Pagan Tarot by Gina Pace, I pulled:

My eye immediately saw all the roots.  Even the tree itself I saw as a series of roots.  Most likely telling me, I need to dig deeper, be prepared and listen.

Then I noticed the book.  For her, it is her book of shadows where she journals, keeps track of her spells etc.  I have a book like that.  However, my thought went to how I have so many books ... shelves and shelves.  All sorts of topics. Some read, some only parts read and others not at all.  Think of all the knowledge and enjoyment at my disposal.  Indeed, I need to start reading again.  

The card overall reminds me of what I always say before a meditation:

I am in the universe, the universe is in my body, the universe and I combine together

As above, so below.

Am off to find a book to begin reading ....

The Gift of Joy

A beautiful time of blue skies and warm weather.  Can't help but smile. Never want it to end although of course it will.  All things end. But an end is a new beginning.  This is where I am these days.  A new beginning.  Feels good.  Plans (with room for change of course) have been thought out and written down. Goals set.  Some reachable each day, some weekly and others over a longer time.  But all attainable.

Life is lighter lately and for that I am grateful.  Grateful for those who hung in with me and perhaps even for those who didn't.  It opened my eyes to many things.

It is hard to find a quiet time to get a nice little meditation in.  My apartment building seems to be filling with folks who don't mind being rather loud.  It was once a quiet wonderful place to live.  Seems that is no longer.  Not sure how to handle this particular situation but am working on it.

Determined, put some earplugs in and meditated. Been missing this very much and it needs to be incorporated back into my daily life.  Once done, I pulled out The Pagan Tarot by Gina Pace.  It is one of my fav decks. I find myself relating to her witch as she goes on her journey.

The card for today:

Ace of Chalices (Cups) ... the picture itself makes me smile.  I love the setting and if I could snap my fingers and be there, I would.  I love how the fish are jumping right out of the cup rough waters or not.  Parts of the lake are smooth as glass while where the fish are headed is a bit rough.  Kinda like me.  I immediately thought of myself jumping back into my life.

The card speaks to me of joy and of acceptance.  I know only too well, it isn't all going to be smooth sailing and that is okay.  Yeah, that is okay.

I am grateful for today.

Letting go

(Mind Reality)

On-going hiatus

Honestly thought the August hiatus would be more than enough.  However, it seems this isn't the case.  The journey is not so magical right now.  (my fear being it might never again be but at the same time knowing it will, it has to be).  My strength has always been the ability to find joy in the simple things in day to day life despite any of the challenges facing me.  It got me through but is letting me down now.  It has deserted me and getting it back has eluded me so far.  Friends I once counted on and trusted, turns out not so much. Pretty much an illusion. One step forward, a hundred back.  Think I'm there only to find I am not.

Who I was is no longer. Moving forward I must re-invent myself working with what is now and the on-going process of finding who that is.  Where do I fit.  Who fits with me.  How to proceed with this journey.  So much harder than I ever imagined.  Truth is I never imagined myself here.

Tarot and astrology, interacting with all of my friends here on-line, means the world to me.  The knowledge and wisdom of everyone so willing to share is priceless.  Letting go of all that is not an option even though my participation is non-existent of late.  My words, my intuition will flow once again.  My excitement to read and comment on my favorite blogs will return.  Just simply has to.

Earlier this morning, using the Mystic Dreamer deck (Barbara Moore/Heidi Darris), this is the card I pulled:

 all right then ... be back soon xxxooo

Clean Slate

The first time since July 29th to feel tarot cards in my hands. Wasn't easy not playing with them and it wasn't easy to play again.  It is time.  Using The Mystic Dreamer tarot deck by Heidi Darras/Barbara Moore and the spread (in order of cards) 2.what I have; 1.me; 3.what I need ... this is what I got:

These cards scream "clean slate" to me.   August was spent facing my painful truths, external and internal and emotionally releasing them.  I purposely did this knowing the consequences, good or bad.

August also saw many things resolved by my own initiative.  It also saw me doing new things by my own initiative.  Perhaps at times a few steps back but always finding the strength to move forward again.  Like the Ace of Swords, sparks of my truth were so very clear, other perspectives listened to and digested.  Quite amazing really.

Going forward, there is no doubt I am not who I used to be and there is still some doubt about who I am now, what path to follow; however, the foundation I built over these years is still there. I need to remain in control all the while being open to what shows itself to me.  

and I am ...

Hiatus

Shutting down until September, no blogging, no Facebook, Twitter for family only, twice a week email check. Yep.

I am grateful for the opportunity to learn so much from my fellow bloggers and Facebook friends.  It has been beyond amazing and means a lot to me.  I will be back. I miss you already.

However, for now, it is time for me to revert back to a simpler time with less distractions in order to reinvent myself moving forward.  To discover newly who I am now, what I am, my capabilities, my limitations, my hopes and dreams.  Sincerely look at what I have versus what I want and how it all fits together.  Look at what really matters and take things back into my own hands.  So much has changed over the last two years.  What brought me joy and comfort has changed.  I want it back but of course that is not to be.  Life is ever changing. Moving forward is the only option.  

Card of the day, drawn from Universal Waite (U.S. Games Systems Inc.):

Quite appropriate considering.  The "9" - bringing to mind self-examination, self-study, paying attention to the inner self.  I will also be looking for the way "guidance" comes to me, in whatever form.

to be continued in the future ....