Been about a month since I've written anything or even looked at a tarot deck.  Sad but true.  Some good news, after 20 days of waiting, my doctor gave me the all clear.  Left the message on my phone, twice, just to be sure I understood.  Big smiles.  However, since Dec 28, it has been non stop chaos within my little circle of loved ones.  It was about two weeks ago, I realized I had lost my ability to find joy in the simple things in life, I realized I had lost my Self somewhere.  Very scary realization. It has been a struggle finding her again.  Outwardly I've stayed strong and supportive for those needing me lately.  Inwardly and in private, well, not so much.  

I am determined to get back on track.  Rediscover my joy.  It is my goal to laugh at least once everyday.  To take a moment every day to see the beauty and joy around me in the simplest of things.  Get back to what I am passionate about. 

Another day could not go by without having a tarot deck in my hands. The drought ends now.  I got out the Hezicos tarot deck (Mary Griffin) and pulled two cards with no specific question in mind, only a general message or direction.

Seeing these cards I realized I do have a support system.  I tend to be the one doing all the giving and I must not be afraid to ask for help, to learn to receive.  The constant flood of emotion over this past month has me paralyzed.  I must find the motion in my emotions.  Yeah, I like that.

The two numbers add up to 16 (Tower) no doubt indicating all the disruptive events and how out of the blue they were/are.  And there is no doubt it has been a time, and still is, of reassessing (no choice really).  Finding my way back to my joy.

Life goes on, the days go by ... I don't want to miss them.