My intentions of keeping up with daily meditations and tarot readings ... well that fell by the wayside. It pains me to say but oh so true. By the time I get home from work, my mental energy has left me. That leaves the weekends. Just finished another inner guide meditation and again very interesting. Wrote down my experience. After that I drew some cards from the Manga Tarot just to see what they had to say.
1 - 5 Swords
2- Ace of Pentacles
3 - King of Wands
Totally falls into line with me finding my self-confidence and not feeling defeated. Getting healthy and making my home, my home. Doesn't matter where it is. I am the beginning of the journey. It has to start with me and my well being ... physically, mentally and emotionally.
So I feel I am on the right path. Is it challenging ... absolutely. Will I fall off once in while ... probably. Will I have the strength to get back on ... indeed.
At this point in my life, my options are limited. I have to continue to work so I have somewhere to live. This isn't so bad as I don't mind doing my job. What I mind is the time it takes from my true joys in life. This is what I need to work on. Finding more of a balance. I have to find this balance within the confines of what my reality is and will be for more years to come.
I am grateful I have a job and one I don't mind going to.
I am grateful I don't mind being on my own since being on my own is what is.
I am grateful to have experienced love in various forms over the course of my life.
I am grateful I have been loved and am loved.
I am grateful for my two beautiful kitties who love me unconditionally.
My son called me the other night wanting to know if I would be interested in having a "family night" at least once a month. He wants to have a meal and play some games with his girlfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, and me. I thought it was terribly sweet of him and I said yes, let's plan it.
I am off work this coming week. Hoping to have more time to spend playing with my cards and catching up with some neglected paperwork, correspondence and reading. Well maybe all that won't get accomplished but will give it a try.
I do have some decisions to make about things that could help my life be a little easier financially. The cards I drew give me hope I will make some right decisions. It all begins with me.
Since I am off work for the coming week, will be back with a daily draw and my thoughts.
to be continued ....
Definitely it's okay to only do your meditations on the weekends, if that's what it takes for now so that you don't feel overwhelmed with "things to do." I've been learning this lesson lately -- that it's okay if I don't do all the things I want to do every day, every day. My expectations of myself have been so unrealistic sometimes. For instance, I tried to walk 45 minutes every day. It became a burden and a pressure. I went to walking every other day. That too became weighty. Now I walk both days on the weekend, when I'm not working and have time, and only Tues and Thurs during the week. It took me a whole year to figure out what works effortlessly for me: structure that has built-in space. It's building in the space that I think has removed the effort-making. Hope that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement. So true and makes sense. Once upon a time I had it all worked out perfectly. I walked back and forth to work (30 min each way), did a weight workout and felt great. Then two years ago, my work moved and I could no longer walk to work. Since then I haven't been able to maintain a consistent program. It really messed me up. For sure I am too hard on myself and am understanding that more and more. Do what I can, when I can. Make a plan to start slow and perfectly manageable and perhaps build towards more. I know I feel so much better in every way when I incorporate exercise into my life. Again, thanks for the words. You have inspired me to be motivated again. My sore back seems better ... I say that cautiously ... and should test it out with ease of course.
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