Snow day

The snow started yesterday with periodic snow squalls.  One moment sunny, the next a white-out.  I was out in it briefly yesterday and very happy once home to be an observer from this side of the window.  My view over to my little forest is like a winter wonderland.  Oh so very pretty.  I do not see what the roads are like and the challenges the snow creates.  I have heard it is quite a mess out there.  When I got up early this morning and saw all the snow on my trees, I knew this was to be a relaxing, enjoyable day.  I would make it so.

And I have.  I almost feel guilty as there are many things I could/should be doing.  The choice is mine though isn't it.  I catch myself distracted and lost in thought as I look out the window.  I can just lift my head and there it is.  Perhaps it is time well spent.  This lost in thought time.

And perhaps the Universe is telling me just that, as only minutes ago from the Sacred Circle tarot (Anna Franklin & Paul Mason) I pulled:

Different setting, same idea.  I feel the card is telling me to take advantage of my thought process.  Definitely use my own mind, develop my own ideas.  Also to be careful to actually use the information coming to me and the information I gather myself, not just store it.

My mind can be rather restless.  This card reminds me to use "thought" to make some sense of what is in there.  A meditation of sorts.

There might even be a surprise for me!!  Hmmm ...

Time

The 8 of Wands from the Sacred Circle tarot by Anna Franklin.

What bothers me the most is not having enough time to do what brings me joy.  80% of that would be playing with my cards.  Now that I am above ground again and back on the path, I want so much to write a blog everyday, keep up with all my fav blogs and spend time with a deck or a book.  Fitting this time in eludes me.  So far.  It frustrates me.

My job creates a very busy, not exactly stress free, day.  And I do it well.  Unfortunately, once home there isn't much left.  I have been successful working back in an exercise routine and have been faithfully sticking with it.  That happens as soon as I get home.  I made myself an exercise calendar marked with what needs to be done on a particular day, hung it on my closet door and sign off after I am finished.  Worked.

Perhaps the 8 of Wands wants me to sit down and figure out a plan for the "me" stuff I am so missing.  Not likely will I be able to do something every evening so my goal will be to work a few hours in over the week days and plan my weekends to give me a whole day to myself.  That will have to be flexible but mostly workable.  At least it would be a start.

There is just too much to do and not enough hours in the day ... I need more hours and I need more mental energy left for the evenings.

Some books say the 8 of Wands will bring me a message of love or romance ... hmmm.  Probably not.

Snow and more snow

This was my view today at work.  We are up on a hill and normally as you look out over the parking lot you can see the street going north/south.  It is there somewhere.

Standing at the window looking at the snow as it swirled around, it reminded me of how much we really can't control.  Reminded me to be in the present and find joy in it.  I absolutely took the time today to do that. Instead of saying how it was too soon for snow or how bad the drive home would be, I smiled.

This was the view from my apartment balcony on my lunch during a lull in the snow.  A lull so I was able to come home for lunch. How beautiful and calming is that.  Fifteen minutes after I was back to work it was back to the first picture ... same snow, different perspective. Still a smile.

feeling joyous ...

Clarity

Last Sunday I spent an hour and a half chatting with a psychic/medium.  It was meant to be half an hour but we got carried away and had no idea all that time had gone by.  What a lovely lady she is.  What a wonderful experience for me and as it turned out a needed one. Took her less than a second to get right to the root of who Carol is.  Blew me away.  So very much to process.  It did take most of the week to regain my strength.  Seems I was drained after.  In a nice way.

Anyway, it is back to the normal everyday routines along with incorporating what I know I need to do.  Seems easier now.

I did a meditation and got out The Vanessa Tarot (Lynyrd Nariso) and drew three cards with past, present, future in mind.

Been a little lost at times looking towards the past and although that can be a good thing in order to figure out who you are and the why ...  got stuck.  In order to get back to the present and back on the path, an enormous amount of focus and control is needed.  Be a warrior.  In the end, with a change of thinking, acting on ideas, moving forward will be the result.  Yes, it will be with hard work and challenges but so worth it.

On a different note, tomorrow is Remembrance Day but also my dad's birthday. He would be 91 if still with us.  He passed 6 years ago just after his birthday on Nov 15.  My dad was in the military until he retired at age 50 and began a second career as an accountant.  He is remembered for his service in WWII and for the many years after.  He is remembered as my daddy ... miss and love him.

always and forever ....

Perfectly lonely

Osho Zen Tarot - IX Aloneness:

(from the book) When there is no "significant other" in our lives we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues. 

If you are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view your "aloneness" and take responsibility for the choice you have made. 

The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. One of Gautam Buddha's most significant contributions to the spiritual life of humankind was to insist to his disciples, "Be a light unto yourself." Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. - Paul Tillich

me: it really is okay ...